"I wanna put my fingers thru your hair, wrap me up in your legs.." - J Holiday, "Bed"

as another crazy/eventful weekend passes, it can only mean one thing - another hectic week is beginning.. gotta say, getting everything in place for the car show took a lot out of me given the mood/frame of mind i was in last week.. and considering how sleep deprived i was, i def have to say i'm happy with everything i was able to do this weekend.. i could sit here and talk about the various last minute "surprises" sprung on me last week, but a big part of the life i lead is about being able to make adjustments on the fly and thriving under difficult situations, so that's that.

Darknights at Performance World was a bit slower/quieter than i had expected, but it turned into quite the memorable weekend nevertheless.. aside from giving our girls a chance to shine in a high-traffic forum like a car show, this weekend was important in the sense that i was also able to evaluate some of the new talent we've recently added to the team.. i was definitely happy to see some of the girls step up in a big way and rep it right, despite whatever distractions and difficulties they faced also.. not really any surprises in terms of how i expected each of the girls to perform and interact with one another, so that makes this a great building block that i can lean on, moving forward with the various other projects/events we have for the future..

other things that added to the weekend? being able to be a part of the solidarity that each of us who knew Ming needed, and being able to count on a close friend jus to make that happen. jus as it was when i first heard the news, it was unreal to see someone so young and universally respected pass like that (figuratively as well as literally, when the casket passed and was lowered) unfairly, but i think seeing the number of people from different walks of life who cared about him come out and celebrate/remember Ming's life gives us strength to move forward, as he would've wanted us to.

certain things stood out from the weekend.. i remember Saturday being a beautiful, sunny day, the cemetery a surreal, serene snow-covered scene seemingly shielded from the rest of the world, bearing no visible scars.. i remember drifting in and out of lucid consciousness in the car ride back to the car show, with various thoughts and emotions racing through my head as i talked with my friend.. looking back, i was glad that she was the one who had accompanied me, and frankly, i was thankful to get back into the alternate reality that is the confines of a busy day at a car show..

thinking back, i realize that the past week probably affected how i handled certain things differently this weekend as well.. i first pointed it out to some of my girls as we were heading to the car show on Friday: i actually felt completely calm and relaxed, whereas leading up to the opening of a big show i ordinarily would've probably been overly preoccupied with thinking about what i wanted to achieve that weekend and about how i was going to go about doing it.. well, def wasn't the case for this show. i still had predefined goals for both myself and my girls, and i definitely had plans in place in terms of how we were going to collectively achieve those goals for this show, i just wasn't really worried about any of it. i distinctly remember thinking to myself, "whatever happens, i'll deal with accordingly - and we'll make the most of it nonetheless."

that same mindset probably impacted my decision to go out to be Metro on Friday and State Theatre on Saturday despite the complaints of my body telling me that i needed to sleep.. i ended up drinking so much (trust me, most of you who are reading this would've puked your brains out if you drank the same amount of hard liquor straight) on Friday that i actually felt tipsy (for a while at least) and really enjoyed myself at the disgustingly under-ventilated club.. speaking of which, State was an absolute sweat-bath made worse by the fact that i was even more exhausted than the night before.. needless to say, i still accomplished everything i wanted to on both nights and then completely passed out when i got home, on both nights, haha.. photos from these nights will be posted on my Facebook.. at some point, at least..

funny thing: when i was about to write this post, i told myself that i probably shouldn't delve too much back into the subject that was predominantly on my mind last week, and that this post was going to be strictly about the weekend.. instead, i ended up realizing (once again) that a lot of what transpired this past weekend was a direct result of my experiences, or how i used my experiences to shape me for the better..

so on that note, i'd say that each and every one of us needs a reminder from time to time, whether literal or in the form of something that takes place around us, to stay grounded and focused in our journeys to where we want to be.. a few months ago, i would've shaken my head at and been disappointed by some things done by misled individuals around me, because i'd care about them despite their flaws, and i'd wish that they could think for themselves. today though, as i saw yet another indignantly immature display of misconstrued superiority in the form of yet another self-righteous Facebook note from a girl i used to have high hopes for, i just smiled sadly and hoped that for her sake she could figure it out someday and climb off her self-built pedestal in order to see things for what they really are, for once.

might seem callous, but it makes life too complicated when you start worrying about the livelihoods of individuals who don't care about their own lives and the impact that their lives have on others - i've known what my purpose on this earth was since about the time i was 16, and my work is far from done so, without further adieu...

5:01pm, a day in the life..

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"Love is war - I'm your soldier, touching you like it's our first time"
- J Holiday, "Bed"

yesterday (Sunday), as i was finally coming home from the car show, this song randomly popped into my head and i eventually ended up singing it quietly as i walked into my condo with a smile.. def one of my favourite songs, but on that particular day, it invoked a special mood in me and i couldn't get it out of my head.. today, i woke up still in that same, warm mood without having a clue as to who or what had brought on this change in me. none of the explanations i've thought about today really makes sense, and several hours later, this song is still on repeat so instead of trying to explain how i feel right now, i decided to just share it =)

Girl, change into that Victoria Secret thing that I like
Alright
Ok, tonight your having me your way
Perfume, spray it there
Put our love in the air
Now put me right next to you
Fittin to raise the temp in the room
First rub my back like you do
Right there, uh-uh, right there uh
You touch me like you care
Now Stop
And let me repay you for the week that you've been thru
Working that 9-5 and staying cute, like you do
oh, oh, oh

I love it (I love it)
You love it (You love it)
Everytime (Everytime)
We touchin (We touchin)
I want it (I want it)
You want it (You want it)
I'll see you (see you)
In the morning (In the morning)

I wanna put my fingers thru your hair
Wrap me up in your legs
And love you till your eyes roll back
I'm tryin to put you to bed, bed, bed
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
Then I'ma rock your body
Turn you over
Love is war
I'm your soldier
Touching you like it's our first time
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

I'm staring at you while your sleep
Irreplaceable beauty
Put my face up in your neck and breathe (aww, breathe)
Take you into my senses
Wake up, it's time to finish
Round two, It's round two
Matter of fact it's closer the three
She like, "how long I been sleep?"
Shorty, kisses turn into the sweetest dreams
Like give it to me
And I can feel her tell me
My angel this is wonderful
Thanks, for letting me bless ya
Come down, fly, right, drift back into heaven
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

I love it (I love it)
You love it (You love it)
Everytime (Everytime)
We touchin (We touchin)
I want it (I want it)
You want it (You want it)
I'll see you (see you)
In the morning (In the morning)

I wanna put my fingers thru your hair
Wrap me up in your legs
And love you till your eyes roll back
I'm tryin to put you to bed, bed, bed
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
Then I'ma rock your body
Turn you over
Love is war
I'm your soldier
Touching you like it's our first time
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

[Bridge:]
Watch the sunlight peak over the horizons
Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou
Sun ain't the only thing that's shining
Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou
Now, I'mma send you out into the world with my love
Tell everybody aye, aye, aye [x10]

I wanna put my fingers thru your hair
Wrap me up in your legs
And love you till your eyes roll back
I'm tryin to put you to bed, bed, bed
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
Then I'ma rock your body
Turn you over
Love is war
I'm your soldier
Touching you like it's our first time
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

[Bridge:]
Watch the sunlight peak over the horizons
Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou
Sun ain't the only thing that's shining
Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou
Now, I'mma send you out into the world with my love
Tell everybody aye, aye, aye [x10]