"Then something unusual, something strange, comes from nothing at all" - Damien Rice, "Amie"

its been a chillin week.. been up to a bunch of things, that i may or may not write about later on when i have more time.. for now i'll jus say that i've been in a good mood, and that i've been smiling lots lately.. feels like a personal change thats taken place subconsciously, but i can't really explain it so i'll leave it as it is - a positive thing..

will update everyone with details for my first ever (and i mean ever) birthday jam coming in early april.. for now, back to cleaning my place - fam's in town..

11:56am, a day in the life..

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"Tell it like you still believe - that the end of the century brings a change for you and me"
- Damien Rice, "Amie"

gotta make it clear before i post these lyrics.. but this isn't for anyone i know (specifically the girl that works with me and another girl that modeled for me in the past with the same/similar name) - i jus like this song a lot =) not too much to say except that i really appreciate the unique quality/character behind Damien Rice's voice, and that the classical instrumentation (violins usually) is a fresh musical perspective to what we (consumers) usually get these days from the cookie-cut formula-produced "artists" that otherwise dominate the market.

Then something unusual something strange
comes from nothing at all

I saw a spaceship fly by your window
did you see it disappear?

Amie come sit on my wall and read me the story of Of O
Tell it like you still believe that the end of the century brings a change for you and me

Nothing unusual nothing's changed
Just a little older that's all

You know when you've found it there's something I've learned
'cause you feel it when they take it away hey hey

Then something unusual something strange
comes from nothing at all

But I'm not a miracle and you're not a saint
just another soldier on a road to nowhere

Amie come sit on my wall and read me the story of O
tell it like you still believe that the end of the century
brings a change for you and me

Amie come sit on my wall and read me the story of o
tell it like you still believe that the end of the century
brings a change for you and me

"I wanna put my fingers thru your hair, wrap me up in your legs.." - J Holiday, "Bed"

as another crazy/eventful weekend passes, it can only mean one thing - another hectic week is beginning.. gotta say, getting everything in place for the car show took a lot out of me given the mood/frame of mind i was in last week.. and considering how sleep deprived i was, i def have to say i'm happy with everything i was able to do this weekend.. i could sit here and talk about the various last minute "surprises" sprung on me last week, but a big part of the life i lead is about being able to make adjustments on the fly and thriving under difficult situations, so that's that.

Darknights at Performance World was a bit slower/quieter than i had expected, but it turned into quite the memorable weekend nevertheless.. aside from giving our girls a chance to shine in a high-traffic forum like a car show, this weekend was important in the sense that i was also able to evaluate some of the new talent we've recently added to the team.. i was definitely happy to see some of the girls step up in a big way and rep it right, despite whatever distractions and difficulties they faced also.. not really any surprises in terms of how i expected each of the girls to perform and interact with one another, so that makes this a great building block that i can lean on, moving forward with the various other projects/events we have for the future..

other things that added to the weekend? being able to be a part of the solidarity that each of us who knew Ming needed, and being able to count on a close friend jus to make that happen. jus as it was when i first heard the news, it was unreal to see someone so young and universally respected pass like that (figuratively as well as literally, when the casket passed and was lowered) unfairly, but i think seeing the number of people from different walks of life who cared about him come out and celebrate/remember Ming's life gives us strength to move forward, as he would've wanted us to.

certain things stood out from the weekend.. i remember Saturday being a beautiful, sunny day, the cemetery a surreal, serene snow-covered scene seemingly shielded from the rest of the world, bearing no visible scars.. i remember drifting in and out of lucid consciousness in the car ride back to the car show, with various thoughts and emotions racing through my head as i talked with my friend.. looking back, i was glad that she was the one who had accompanied me, and frankly, i was thankful to get back into the alternate reality that is the confines of a busy day at a car show..

thinking back, i realize that the past week probably affected how i handled certain things differently this weekend as well.. i first pointed it out to some of my girls as we were heading to the car show on Friday: i actually felt completely calm and relaxed, whereas leading up to the opening of a big show i ordinarily would've probably been overly preoccupied with thinking about what i wanted to achieve that weekend and about how i was going to go about doing it.. well, def wasn't the case for this show. i still had predefined goals for both myself and my girls, and i definitely had plans in place in terms of how we were going to collectively achieve those goals for this show, i just wasn't really worried about any of it. i distinctly remember thinking to myself, "whatever happens, i'll deal with accordingly - and we'll make the most of it nonetheless."

that same mindset probably impacted my decision to go out to be Metro on Friday and State Theatre on Saturday despite the complaints of my body telling me that i needed to sleep.. i ended up drinking so much (trust me, most of you who are reading this would've puked your brains out if you drank the same amount of hard liquor straight) on Friday that i actually felt tipsy (for a while at least) and really enjoyed myself at the disgustingly under-ventilated club.. speaking of which, State was an absolute sweat-bath made worse by the fact that i was even more exhausted than the night before.. needless to say, i still accomplished everything i wanted to on both nights and then completely passed out when i got home, on both nights, haha.. photos from these nights will be posted on my Facebook.. at some point, at least..

funny thing: when i was about to write this post, i told myself that i probably shouldn't delve too much back into the subject that was predominantly on my mind last week, and that this post was going to be strictly about the weekend.. instead, i ended up realizing (once again) that a lot of what transpired this past weekend was a direct result of my experiences, or how i used my experiences to shape me for the better..

so on that note, i'd say that each and every one of us needs a reminder from time to time, whether literal or in the form of something that takes place around us, to stay grounded and focused in our journeys to where we want to be.. a few months ago, i would've shaken my head at and been disappointed by some things done by misled individuals around me, because i'd care about them despite their flaws, and i'd wish that they could think for themselves. today though, as i saw yet another indignantly immature display of misconstrued superiority in the form of yet another self-righteous Facebook note from a girl i used to have high hopes for, i just smiled sadly and hoped that for her sake she could figure it out someday and climb off her self-built pedestal in order to see things for what they really are, for once.

might seem callous, but it makes life too complicated when you start worrying about the livelihoods of individuals who don't care about their own lives and the impact that their lives have on others - i've known what my purpose on this earth was since about the time i was 16, and my work is far from done so, without further adieu...

5:01pm, a day in the life..

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"Love is war - I'm your soldier, touching you like it's our first time"
- J Holiday, "Bed"

yesterday (Sunday), as i was finally coming home from the car show, this song randomly popped into my head and i eventually ended up singing it quietly as i walked into my condo with a smile.. def one of my favourite songs, but on that particular day, it invoked a special mood in me and i couldn't get it out of my head.. today, i woke up still in that same, warm mood without having a clue as to who or what had brought on this change in me. none of the explanations i've thought about today really makes sense, and several hours later, this song is still on repeat so instead of trying to explain how i feel right now, i decided to just share it =)

Girl, change into that Victoria Secret thing that I like
Alright
Ok, tonight your having me your way
Perfume, spray it there
Put our love in the air
Now put me right next to you
Fittin to raise the temp in the room
First rub my back like you do
Right there, uh-uh, right there uh
You touch me like you care
Now Stop
And let me repay you for the week that you've been thru
Working that 9-5 and staying cute, like you do
oh, oh, oh

I love it (I love it)
You love it (You love it)
Everytime (Everytime)
We touchin (We touchin)
I want it (I want it)
You want it (You want it)
I'll see you (see you)
In the morning (In the morning)

I wanna put my fingers thru your hair
Wrap me up in your legs
And love you till your eyes roll back
I'm tryin to put you to bed, bed, bed
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
Then I'ma rock your body
Turn you over
Love is war
I'm your soldier
Touching you like it's our first time
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

I'm staring at you while your sleep
Irreplaceable beauty
Put my face up in your neck and breathe (aww, breathe)
Take you into my senses
Wake up, it's time to finish
Round two, It's round two
Matter of fact it's closer the three
She like, "how long I been sleep?"
Shorty, kisses turn into the sweetest dreams
Like give it to me
And I can feel her tell me
My angel this is wonderful
Thanks, for letting me bless ya
Come down, fly, right, drift back into heaven
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

I love it (I love it)
You love it (You love it)
Everytime (Everytime)
We touchin (We touchin)
I want it (I want it)
You want it (You want it)
I'll see you (see you)
In the morning (In the morning)

I wanna put my fingers thru your hair
Wrap me up in your legs
And love you till your eyes roll back
I'm tryin to put you to bed, bed, bed
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
Then I'ma rock your body
Turn you over
Love is war
I'm your soldier
Touching you like it's our first time
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

[Bridge:]
Watch the sunlight peak over the horizons
Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou
Sun ain't the only thing that's shining
Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou
Now, I'mma send you out into the world with my love
Tell everybody aye, aye, aye [x10]

I wanna put my fingers thru your hair
Wrap me up in your legs
And love you till your eyes roll back
I'm tryin to put you to bed, bed, bed
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
Then I'ma rock your body
Turn you over
Love is war
I'm your soldier
Touching you like it's our first time
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

[Bridge:]
Watch the sunlight peak over the horizons
Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou
Sun ain't the only thing that's shining
Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou, Ou-Ou
Now, I'mma send you out into the world with my love
Tell everybody aye, aye, aye [x10]

9 Kayce Models featured in the IKON Top Models Lounge @ Darknights Auto Salon 2008

Featured Kayce Models Cindy Lee, Inessa & Verena Chin will be selling autographed prints & posters in the IKON Top Model Lounge along with 6 of our newest models - be sure to drop by to meet each of the beautiful girls!

Interested in hiring models for shoots with the products/cars that you are exhibiting? Visit us in the Model Lounge for details.

For more information, please visit the following sites:

http://www.KaycePhotography.com/
http://www.KayceModels.com/
http://www.PerformanceWorldCarShow.com/
http://www.iepgroup.ca/dkn.html

A Day in the Life: Can't Forget About You - A Tribute to Ming Shin

my manager and i had an interesting conversation last night, so as a i take a quick break from my work, i'll share what she teased me (jokingly) about. she said that if she didn't know any better, she would've sworn that i'd gotten soft. yes, soft, from the music i've been listening to lately and the boundless appreciation i've shown for others' music instead of dedicating that same heart into my own. soft, as the gritty chaos of my free-spirit had been absent in my recent writings.. i laughed it off, because i know she's got nothing but love for me and that anytime she throws barbs out there like that, its only to spurn me towards a specific end that she wants me to realize.. well, she succeeded and i'll speak on it.

simply put, i'm looking for new challenges nowadays. everything i already know comes so fucking easy for me - i'm just dying to touch something i haven't felt before, if only to feel the electric uncertainty around each of its edges, crevasses and surfaces. i don't always like the answers, but to each of my questions, i know the variables i control and the results that will follow. i'm not really bored with my work, but time passes too slowly for me and there are always bigger goals in mind.. some of it comes from being a quick learner by nature, but some of it also stems from the recollection of difficult experiences i've gone through in the past year as well as some more-recent developments..

i don't think i'm special, by any stretch of the imagination, in feeling this way because i'm sure all of us have experienced this kind of restlessness in our darker moments. what i do think is different about me though is the fact that i actually relish these times of spiritual unrest brought on by self-reflection, and that i'm not afraid of acting on my many visions, in any way.. i exist only as the outlet of my inspirations, and i won't apologize for the ruthless determination with which i drive down the roads i choose.

if music sits as the singular pulse dominating my body of work, then hiphop still exists as the relentless passion that beats at the heart of my life's opus.. i grew up listening to nothing but hiphop, and many of my life lessons came as quotables from hiphop's leading teachers.. just how complete is my marriage with this art? even when i write and speak today, two years removed from my last full-length album release, my words still ring naturally with the cadence and rhyme signed in the language of America's most representative and iconic culture: hiphop.. to repeat the words uttered by countless musical luminaries and poets before me - i am hiphop.

that being said, i've grown over the years, just as hiphop has grown over the years. and, i'll only continue to grow in the coming years, just as hiphop continues to grow. i will say that i truly love (and i know love is a strong word) a wide range of music now, and i see that as a beautiful thing. i don't think being a child of hiphop music and being a music aficionado are mutually exclusive in any sense.. i believe that appreciating all forms of music allows me to continue growing as an artist, and in time it'll only serve to help me better represent the music in me the purest way i know how - through hiphop.

a while ago you said you wanted to hear my personal growth in my music, so i gave you the frankest representation of the man i've become in the "No One" Remix i did overnight. you said you were curious to see if the freedom still lived in words, borne of my soul.. my answer: i could never hide from who i am, and i could never turn away from what i already know - even if my experiences lead me to crossroads at times, i'd only continue growing, as a man as well as as an artist.

9:59am, a day in the life..

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"I don't want to bring up the greater times, but i'm a dreamer - nostalgic, with the state of mind.."
- Nas, "Can't Forget About You"

today's selection comes in the memory of one of my respected colleagues and friends, Ming Shin, who passed away last weekend.. he was also an avid hiphop lover and someone who's relationship with hiphop was just as personal and intimate as mine i'm sure.. "Can't Forget About You" is one of Nas ' best-written songs over his illustrious career, and is (in my humble opinion) the song that completed his "comeback" to modern relevance and also removed any remaining doubt as to whether or not his fabled position in hiphop's annals was deserved.. the track is packed with golden-age references, with fragrant realizations only possible of an individual completely at peace with his accomplishments subtly strewn in over a beautifully soulful instrumental.. i have a feeling that in listening to this track, he'd have his eyes closed with a smile on his face.

Ming, i'm proud to say that i had the fortune of knowing you, and that i had a chance to see firsthand the influence you had on all of those around you, simply from the way you conducted yourself and enjoyed your life. i wish i had a chance to let you know in person just how much i respected you, but i know that each and every one of us is proud of you. i'm glad that your struggle is now over; you'll be able to watch over us now from a better place - rest in peace brother, you've graced us with your presence and you continue to live on through us.

Nas
"Can't Forget About You"

There comes a day in your life
When you want to kick back
Straw hat on the porch
When you old perhaps
Want to gather your thoughts
Have a cold one, Brag
To your grand kids on how life is golden
So I’ma light a cigar in the corridor of the crib
Pictures on the wall of all the things that I did
All the money and fame, 8 by 10’s
Of the whole rap pack inside of a big frame
Colliding with big names that could’ve made you career stop
All that, and your man is still here, and I’m still hot
Wow, I need a moment ya’ll, See I almost felt a tear drop

When was the last time you heard real anthem?
Nas, the millionaire, the mansion
When was the last time you heard your boy Nas rhyme?
Never on schedule, but always on time.

[Chorus- Chrisette Michele]
These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
Oh, I’m that history, I’m that block
I’m that lifestyle, I’m that that spot
I’m that kid by the number spot
That’s my past that made me hot
Here’s my lifelong anthem
Can’t forget about you (Can’t forget about you)

[Verse Two]

Can’t forget about the old school
Bam, Cas, Mel lie Mel flash,
Rocks steady spinning on they back
Can’t forget when the first rap Grammy when to Jazzy
Fresh Prince, Fat Boys broke up,
Rap hasnt been the same since
So irregular, how it mess you up when Mr. T became a wrestler
Can’t forget about Jordan’s retirement
The shot Robert Horry hit to win the game in the finals kid
Some things are forever, some things are not
It’s the things we remember that gave the world shock
They stay in a place in your mind so snug
Like who the person was with whom you first made love

When was the last time you heard real anthem?
Nas, the millionaire, the mansion
When was the last time you heard your boy Nas rhyme?
Never on schedule, but always on time.

[Chorus]

These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
Oh, I’m that history, I’m that block
I’m that lifestyle, I’m that spot
I’m that kid by the number spot
That’s my past that made me hot
Here’s my lifelong anthem
Can’t forget about you (Can’t forget about you)

[Verse Three]

Unforgettable, UnSubmittable I go by N now, just one syllable
It’s the N cuz' the game tied is the same vibe
Good times had right after James died
That’s why the gangsta rhymers ain’t inspired
Heinous crimes help records sells more than creative lines
And I don’t want to keep bringing up the greater times
But I’m dreamer nostalgic with the state of mind
The past the past, enough of it aight then
Nothing gives me chills like Douglas and Tyson
Or Mike when his talk was live
Or when he first did the moon walk on Motown's 25

When was the last time you heard real anthem?
Nas, the millionaire, the mansion
When was the last time you heard your boy Nas rhyme?
Never on schedule, but always on time.

These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)

That's why darling it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I'm unforgettable too

Keane - "Can't Stop Now" Lyrics

Keane has been one of my favourite bands/artists since I was introduced to them a couple of years ago.. not sure if its the simple, melodic nature of their songs (both vocally as well as in instrumentation) or the frank, uninhibited lyrics, or the blend of both, but I often find myself putting on an all-Keane playlist while I work - a sure sign that on one level or another, the music really speaks to me. Tonight, as I reflect on the difficult couple of days I've just gone through, this song speaks to me the most:

I noticed tonight that the world has been turning
While I've been stuck here dithering around
Well I know I said I'd wait around till you need me
But I have to go, I hate to let you down
But I can't stop now
I've got troubles of my own
Cause I'm short on time
I'm lonely
And I'm too tired to talk

I noticed tonight that the world has been turning
While I've been stuck here withering away
Well I know I said I wouldn't leave you behind
But I have to go, it breaks my heart to say

That I can't stop now
I've got troubles of my own
Cause I'm short on time
I'm lonely
And I'm too tired to talk

No one back home
I've got troubles of my own
And I can't slow down
For no one in town
And I can't stop now

And I can't slow down
For no one in town
And I can't stop now
For no one

The motion keeps my heart running
The motion keeps my heart running
The motion keeps my heart running
The motion keeps my heart running

PS. thought I'd add.. a couple of my close friends would give a simpler explanation to why i like Keane's music: I'm "emo" - at least they'd say so.. And there's nothing wrong with being "emo" except that that stereotype definitely doesn't match up with my personality or lifestyle, and my friends don't really get how I came to "be that way" haha.. so, let's just say that at least part of me is "emo" haha, and if it means I'm in tune with my private feelings and am able to embrace them as an individual, I have no qualms with that =)

"You're something beautiful: a contradiction.. I wanna play the game, I want the friction" - Muse, "Time is Running Out"

while this definitely falls into the category of songs you would never expect me to listen to, i can't think of a more fitting soundtrack to my mood right now.. i love the unswerving, unapologetic nature of the lyrics, i love the progressive angst of the vocals, and i absolutely love every part of the instrumentation/production from the drums to the aggressive bass line to the "Radiohead-esque" piano line that creeps in on the breakdown.. without this song i might've gone postal already from the latest ember in glowing disappointment that my last relationship has become.

I think I'm drowning
asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
that you've created

you're something beautiful
a contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

you will be the death of me
you will be the death of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
but I'm addicted

now that you know I'm trapped
sense of elation
you'd never dream of
breaking this fixation

you will squeeze the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
how did it come to this?
ooooohh

you will suck the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
ooooohh

and.. i'll write more of a fitting tribute for a great individual who i really respected when i'm able to sort out my thoughts and feelings properly from everything that has transpired in the past few days.. til then, R.I.P. Ming - thanks for always being one of the genuine good guys; memories live forever, and you won't be forgotten.

New Photos Posted: Kayce Photography Model Catalogue - Tia (Toronto)

more photos from the Kayce Photography Model Catalogue can be found at www.KaycePhotography.com