my manager and i had an interesting conversation last night, so as a i take a quick break from my work, i'll share what she teased me (jokingly) about. she said that if she didn't know any better, she would've sworn that i'd gotten soft. yes, soft, from the music i've been listening to lately and the boundless appreciation i've shown for others' music instead of dedicating that same heart into my own. soft, as the gritty chaos of my free-spirit had been absent in my recent writings.. i laughed it off, because i know she's got nothing but love for me and that anytime she throws barbs out there like that, its only to spurn me towards a specific end that she wants me to realize.. well, she succeeded and i'll speak on it.
simply put, i'm looking for new challenges nowadays. everything i already know comes so fucking easy for me - i'm just dying to touch something i haven't felt before, if only to feel the electric uncertainty around each of its edges, crevasses and surfaces. i don't always like the answers, but to each of my questions, i know the variables i control and the results that will follow. i'm not really bored with my work, but time passes too slowly for me and there are always bigger goals in mind.. some of it comes from being a quick learner by nature, but some of it also stems from the recollection of difficult experiences i've gone through in the past year as well as some more-recent developments..
i don't think i'm special, by any stretch of the imagination, in feeling this way because i'm sure all of us have experienced this kind of restlessness in our darker moments. what i do think is different about me though is the fact that i actually relish these times of spiritual unrest brought on by self-reflection, and that i'm not afraid of acting on my many visions, in any way.. i exist only as the outlet of my inspirations, and i won't apologize for the ruthless determination with which i drive down the roads i choose.
if music sits as the singular pulse dominating my body of work, then hiphop still exists as the relentless passion that beats at the heart of my life's opus.. i grew up listening to nothing but hiphop, and many of my life lessons came as quotables from hiphop's leading teachers.. just how complete is my marriage with this art? even when i write and speak today, two years removed from my last full-length album release, my words still ring naturally with the cadence and rhyme signed in the language of America's most representative and iconic culture: hiphop.. to repeat the words uttered by countless musical luminaries and poets before me - i am hiphop.
that being said, i've grown over the years, just as hiphop has grown over the years. and, i'll only continue to grow in the coming years, just as hiphop continues to grow. i will say that i truly love (and i know love is a strong word) a wide range of music now, and i see that as a beautiful thing. i don't think being a child of hiphop music and being a music aficionado are mutually exclusive in any sense.. i believe that appreciating all forms of music allows me to continue growing as an artist, and in time it'll only serve to help me better represent the music in me the purest way i know how - through hiphop.
a while ago you said you wanted to hear my personal growth in my music, so i gave you the frankest representation of the man i've become in the "No One" Remix i did overnight. you said you were curious to see if the freedom still lived in words, borne of my soul.. my answer: i could never hide from who i am, and i could never turn away from what i already know - even if my experiences lead me to crossroads at times, i'd only continue growing, as a man as well as as an artist.
9:59am, a day in the life..
______________________________________
"I don't want to bring up the greater times, but i'm a dreamer - nostalgic, with the state of mind.."
- Nas, "Can't Forget About You"
today's selection comes in the memory of one of my respected colleagues and friends, Ming Shin, who passed away last weekend.. he was also an avid hiphop lover and someone who's relationship with hiphop was just as personal and intimate as mine i'm sure.. "Can't Forget About You" is one of Nas ' best-written songs over his illustrious career, and is (in my humble opinion) the song that completed his "comeback" to modern relevance and also removed any remaining doubt as to whether or not his fabled position in hiphop's annals was deserved.. the track is packed with golden-age references, with fragrant realizations only possible of an individual completely at peace with his accomplishments subtly strewn in over a beautifully soulful instrumental.. i have a feeling that in listening to this track, he'd have his eyes closed with a smile on his face.
Ming, i'm proud to say that i had the fortune of knowing you, and that i had a chance to see firsthand the influence you had on all of those around you, simply from the way you conducted yourself and enjoyed your life. i wish i had a chance to let you know in person just how much i respected you, but i know that each and every one of us is proud of you. i'm glad that your struggle is now over; you'll be able to watch over us now from a better place - rest in peace brother, you've graced us with your presence and you continue to live on through us.
Nas
"Can't Forget About You"
There comes a day in your life
When you want to kick back
Straw hat on the porch
When you old perhaps
Want to gather your thoughts
Have a cold one, Brag
To your grand kids on how life is golden
So I’ma light a cigar in the corridor of the crib
Pictures on the wall of all the things that I did
All the money and fame, 8 by 10’s
Of the whole rap pack inside of a big frame
Colliding with big names that could’ve made you career stop
All that, and your man is still here, and I’m still hot
Wow, I need a moment ya’ll, See I almost felt a tear drop
When was the last time you heard real anthem?
Nas, the millionaire, the mansion
When was the last time you heard your boy Nas rhyme?
Never on schedule, but always on time.
[Chorus- Chrisette Michele]
These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
Oh, I’m that history, I’m that block
I’m that lifestyle, I’m that that spot
I’m that kid by the number spot
That’s my past that made me hot
Here’s my lifelong anthem
Can’t forget about you (Can’t forget about you)
[Verse Two]
Can’t forget about the old school
Bam, Cas, Mel lie Mel flash,
Rocks steady spinning on they back
Can’t forget when the first rap Grammy when to Jazzy
Fresh Prince, Fat Boys broke up,
Rap hasnt been the same since
So irregular, how it mess you up when Mr. T became a wrestler
Can’t forget about Jordan’s retirement
The shot Robert Horry hit to win the game in the finals kid
Some things are forever, some things are not
It’s the things we remember that gave the world shock
They stay in a place in your mind so snug
Like who the person was with whom you first made love
When was the last time you heard real anthem?
Nas, the millionaire, the mansion
When was the last time you heard your boy Nas rhyme?
Never on schedule, but always on time.
[Chorus]
These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
Oh, I’m that history, I’m that block
I’m that lifestyle, I’m that spot
I’m that kid by the number spot
That’s my past that made me hot
Here’s my lifelong anthem
Can’t forget about you (Can’t forget about you)
[Verse Three]
Unforgettable, UnSubmittable I go by N now, just one syllable
It’s the N cuz' the game tied is the same vibe
Good times had right after James died
That’s why the gangsta rhymers ain’t inspired
Heinous crimes help records sells more than creative lines
And I don’t want to keep bringing up the greater times
But I’m dreamer nostalgic with the state of mind
The past the past, enough of it aight then
Nothing gives me chills like Douglas and Tyson
Or Mike when his talk was live
Or when he first did the moon walk on Motown's 25
When was the last time you heard real anthem?
Nas, the millionaire, the mansion
When was the last time you heard your boy Nas rhyme?
Never on schedule, but always on time.
These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
These streets hold my deepest days
This hood taught me golden ways
Made me (truly this is what made me)
Break me (not a things gonna break me)
That's why darling it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I'm unforgettable too
